© 2011 Aaron Atkinson

Safety in Numbers

I am the marketing chairperson for my local chapter of Pheasants Forever. Once a year we host a fundraising banquet. We auction off items and use the proceeds to fund projects and activities that make the outdoors better and more real for young people in our area. We raise most of the money that we earn at the banquet by raffling off firearms. You see, most bird hunters can never own enough of two things – wildlife art and shotguns.

I’m not most bird hunters.

Jordan: I haven’t seen you buy a raffle ticket yet.

Me: I’m afraid I own all the guns I need.

Jordan: Bah. You can never have too many guns.

Me: Sure you can.

Jordan: Well with you getting married this Fall, now is the time to get as many as you can. I can tell you from experience that once you get married it gets a lot harder to get the things you want.

Steve: (who has been listening) There is one way to get around that. Buy a gun-safe and don’t tell Laura the combination. That way if she never sees inside, she’ll never know how many guns you really own.

Laura: (who has also been listening) Now that’s not a bad idea. I think I’m going to have to buy a shoe-safe.

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