© 2011 Aaron Atkinson

Mowing Them Down

Last Saturday I mowed my lawn for the fourth time this Spring. During dinner, Laura mentioned that she wouldn’t mind mowing sometime. I had to remind her that last summer we mowed her Grandma’s lawn and that she wasn’t able to start the pull mower. Laura’s response was simply, “I’m weak!”

The next afternoon I finished the Clive Cussler novel I’ve been reading for a while. In the book, North Korea conspired to detonate a dirty bomb over the Western United States. All of Cussler’s books are set at sea, and shortly after finishing the book I drifted off into my standard Sunday afternoon golf nap.

And I dreamed.

I was on a large ship in the Pacific Ocean. The Korean bomb had infected the passengers of the ship and they’d all turned into zombies. They were after me. The only weapon I could find was the yellow Cub Cadet mower that the crew had used to manicure the ship’s putt putt course. I wielded the whirring blade to hold the zombies at bay.

When I woke up I told Laura about my dream.

Laura: Was I on the ship with you?

Aaron: No. And thank goodness.

Laura: Thank goodness?

Aaron: Yeah, you would have been zombie chow. That mower was hard to start!

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