© 2011 Aaron Atkinson

What a Mess

A story from a friend.

I made a huge Christmas mistake this year and my wife called me out on it.

This is our first Christmas as parents, and my wife stays home with our rather messy son. I thought the wet vac that I bought on cyber Monday would make a nice gift for her and for our home. But I’m an idiot. I had it shipped to our house, and since she’s at home all day, she answered the door when the package arrived.

So I get home that night to see the opened wet vac on the living room floor.

My wife asks me, “Is this my Christmas present?”

I hesitated for a millisecond, but it was just long enough.

“Is this you’re way of telling me that I don’t do a good enough job keeping the house clean?”

Again with the briefest hesitation.

“So your saying I’m no good at my job as a housewife.”

Third time being the charm, I instantly start to speak, but she cuts me off with a rabid tone….

“As I was wet vaccing today I figured out what to get you for Christmas. How would you like it if I got you a book on how to make more money?”

With a dejected look, he raised an eye to me and asked, “As a newly married man, what are you getting your wife for Christmas?”

“Not a wet vac, dude”


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