© 2013 Aaron Atkinson

Backseat Driving

I was riding in the backseat of my hunting buddy’s Silverado. And empty car seat sat to my left. My buddy looked back into his rear-view mirror and told me this story.

You sitting back there reminds me of something that happened this week. I’ve been taking my four year old daughter along with me running errands a lot these days and she’s so quiet that sometimes I forget that she’s even there. That was the case the other day when I sat second in line at a stoplight. The light turned green and the moron in front of me was texting and didn’t proceed. I gave him four or five seconds, then honked my horn and hollered, “Pay attention you freakin’ stupid moron.”

I didn’t think anything of it until I slowed to a stop at the next red light when I heard a quiet voice from the back seat say, “Go you stupid moron!”

I’d broken my child. For a moment I sat there panicked. And then it hit me… I ignored her and as traffic started to move, in a gentle voice said, “You’re a great driver, have a wonderful day!”

As we pulled to a stop in the grocery store parking lot, I hesitated before turning the car off. And sure enough there came a sweet, quiet voice from the back seat, “You’re a great driver, have a wonderful day…”

I was just about to pat myself on the back when, “… you stupid moron.”


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