Like a first kiss, a man’s first pair of crocs is something he’ll never be forget. Here’s a short story about a year in the life of my footwear….
I first gazed upon them on the discount rack at my local Dick’s Sporting goods. One can only assume that the bright orange foam clogs weren’t a big seller, thus the price markdown.
But, like a good shopper, I’m always on the lookout for a bargain. With that said, a 66% markdown was more than enough to convince me that having these crocs was akin to cheating our consumer-driven, profit-crazed economic system. Bright orange brashness aside, I had to have them. And I did.
Mere days later I was working in the front yard in some other, inferior full-priced footwear. When I came back inside, to my horror and dismay there were pieces of orange foam strewn across the living room floor. Caught red handed (or orange mouthed) my dog, Indie, dropped the shoe she was chewing on and rolled submissively on to her back. Most people would have thrown their newly chewed orange crocs in the trash, and I must admit that I almost did. However, upon closer inspection of Indie’s handy work, it became clear that the structural integrity of the shoes was still very much intact. Furthermore, not only were they cheap, they were now customized, one-of-a-kind and ventilated.
And I wore them proudly.
Did I care that neighbors gave me strange looks? Nope. I could sense their jealousy from across the block.
Last week I came home from a business trip and there was a box on the kitchen table. I opened it, pulled back the tissue and found a pair of brand new gray and green crocs. A welcome home gift from my girlfriend, Laura. Feeling a bit like I was cheating on my first pair, I tried on the new shoes. A perfect fit.
Laura: Throw out the orange ones, and they’re yours.
Me: I don’t know. The orange ones fit so well, and the neighbors love them… I can sense their jealousy!
Laura: That not jealousy, that’s embarrassment. People are talking about starting a fundraiser to buy you a new pair.
Me: And they’d have to, new crocs are expensive, these were such a great deal. I don’t know…
Laura: I bought these online. More than 75 percent off.
Me: Sold!
So while the Indie-chewed, bright orange crocs are now only a memory, they are a sweet one. But come to think of it, like that first kiss, they did feel a little awkward anyway…
2 Comments
I received a pair of red Crocks from your Aunt Janet. She got a deal on them. Actually they are a bright pink but she still calls them red. Still, they were a good price and a perfect fit. I have them at the condo up north. Your dad wore them in the lake to help protect his feet from the rocks. He looked so cool as he ran through the waves flashing a little pink (oops I mean red…manly red)
Ha! He failed to mention that. Unsightly crocs – whether pink or chewed on – do have some stories to tell. 🙂