My good buddy Ed has a thought-provoking theory on public bathroom hygiene. As he told me about it, the conversation went something like this…
Me: I only go number one in public bathrooms.
Ed: Are you crazy? Why would you only go number one?
Me: For sanitary purposes. I figure the less I touch the better.
Ed: Wrong!
Me: Huh?
Ed: You’ve got it all wrong. Whenever I have to go number two, I just go.
Me: At least you use those tissue paper seat covers don’t you?
Ed: Nope. Don’t hafta.
Me: (Growing more disgusted) Don’t have to!?!
Ed: Nope. The way I figure it, everyone else is just like you. And if everyone is just like you, they all use the paper seat cover. This, naturally, leaves the bare seat germ-free and ready for me!
2 Comments
I thoroughly agree with Ed in this case. The sissification of America started with germs. Now our bodies don’t know what to do when exposed to them. I attributed my general lack of sickness to the fact that I ate my boogers as a kid. Exposing myself to germs and bacteria made my immune system strong.
Think about it.
Note to self… never shake Shane’s hand again.