© 2012 Aaron Atkinson

Hawaiian Punch (in the throat)

When I was a kid, my parents went through a major health food phase for a few months. I’ll never forget those meals of tofu with soy sauce, lima beans with mayonnaise and salted brussel sprouts.

With food like that at home, it’s no wonder I have such fond memories of sleepovers at my friend Richard’s house. We’d get a pizza and we’d watch a movie while sipping Tahitian Treat straight from the can. Ruby red, cold and bubbly and sweetly tart we loved our Hawaiian Punch.

The other day in the grocery store they had Tahitian Treat on sale on and end cap. Laura spotted it, wanted it, and since I haven’t tried it in more than 20 years, we bought a bottle just for fun.

It was nasty. So nasty.

How could something so divine become so disgusting? I have three theories.

One, the Tahitians have changed their recipe.

Two, my tastebuds have matured dramatically.

Three (most likely) tofu, lima beans and brussel sprouts make anything taste incredible by comparison.


  1. Laura
    Posted June 15, 2012 at 3:12 am | #

    It was so disappointing…I remembered it tasting SO much better.

  2. Freddie
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 1:29 am | #

    That’s what you get for going generic. There is no substitute for the real Hawaiian Punch.

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