© 2012 Aaron Atkinson

Three Dollars and No Sense

It’s 10:45 on a steamy, Kansas City Saturday night. We’re driving back from a get-together with friends. We just left behind a mountain of food. We’re half way home.

Laura: I’m hungry.

Me: What are you hungry for?

Laura: Taco Bell.

Me: Ah yes. Fourth meal. But why didn’t you eat more at the party?

Laura: I wasn’t hungry then. Or for that food.

Me: What do you want at Taco Bell?

Laura: (no hesitation) Nachos Bell Grande. No meat.

I pull into the next Taco Bell that we come upon. I roll down my window to order. A blast of summer heat hits me in the face. The speaker chirps.

Taco Bell: Welcome to Taco Bell, may I take your order?

Me: Yes. I’ll have one Nachos Bell Grande. Please hold the meat. That is all.

Taco Bell: Ok. I’ve got one Nachos Bell Grande. No refried beans. That’ll be…

Laura: (from the passenger seat) That’s not right!

Me: She’d like beans. Hold the meat please.

Taco Bell: Oh, ok. I’ve got one Nachos Bell Grande. No meat. That’ll be $3.27.

We pull up to the window.

Laura: Oh, Taco Bell. In what universe does “please hold the meat” sound like “no refried beans?” It just doesn’t make sense.

Me: But having a plate of nachos at 10:45 p.m. on the way home from a party with plenty of food does make sense?

Laura: Yes. And just for that, I’m not sharing with you.


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