Laura has a coworker who hasn’t been to the doctor in 20 years. He’ll turn 40 this fall and he’s finally decided it’s time to go.
Gary: I’ve been testing my blood pressure at Walgreen’s and I know it’s high. My family is insistent that I go get it checked. I’ve finally made an appointment for Tuesday.
Laura: Good for you.
Gary: Yeah, I figure if I make it out of there with high blood pressure, high cholesterol and borderline diabetes I’ll consider it a win.
Laura: That’s not a win, Gary. Those are all serious conditions.
Sharing news like this with Laura is one thing. Sharing it with other coworkers is a big mistake. Gary might as well pour blood in a shark tank. Curious heads start to peek over the cubicle walls.
Josh: What time is your appointment, Gar?
Gary: 10:15 in the morning. But I’m taking the rest of the day off.
Laura: Taking the day off? How come?
Gary: Well I figure I’ll be there until two or three in the afternoon.
Laura: No way, Gary. They’ll have another patient at 10:30. I bet you’re not there more than an hour.
Josh: I wouldn’t be so sure. If you’re almost 40 they’re going to do a prostate exam, dude.
Gary is starting to sweat and giggle nervously.
Mark: Oh, yeah. I had a prostate exam when I was 16. It was the worst experience of my life. I still wake up with cold sweats, and whenever I hear the sound of a rubber glove snap I have flashbacks.
Josh: I’m 34. Six years until I need one. I’ve already been dreading it for almost half of my life.
Gary: That does it. I’m going to tell the doctor that if I need anything that requires removing my pants or sticking me with a needle that we should do it first and just get it over with.
Mark: No small talk?
Gary: No.
Mark: That’s probably a good idea. After that prostate exam you’re going to need a bit of small talk.
Josh: And some cigarettes.
Gary: Great. Laura, add lung cancer to my list of probable ailments.