© 2014 Aaron Atkinson


When it comes to doctors I’ve got a 10 day rule. I’ve got to be sick, hurt, or concerned about something for 10 days before I’ll have it looked at by a professional.

I’ve been sick with a nagging nose-blow-hoarse-cough-sore-throat-run-down-feeling since just after Christmas. After another night of waking us both up with a fit of ceaseless coughing, Laura insisted that I visit the doctor. It was a Sunday and the only thing open was the CVS Minute Clinic. That morning I learned three important lessons.

Lesson One – Doctors are slow

When they call it a Minute Clinic they are lying. I was there five minutes before it opened on a Sunday morning and it still took more than two hours to get out of there with a prescription.

Lesson Two – Sick people say crazy things

I sat waiting next to a woman who was obviously worse off than me. She held her head in her hands and rocked back and forth.

At one point she looked up at me. I smiled. She smiled back.

Me: Are you going to make it?

Strep Mom: Not sure. It’s touch and go at the moment.

Me: Sorry to hear it. There’s some nasty stuff going around. Is the rest of your family sick?

Strep Mom: My husband is at home with my three-year-old twins. They’re all healthy. (She looked down at my ring.) Do you and your wife have kids?

Me: We don’t.

Strep Mom: Do you love each other?

Me: We do.

Strep Mom: Once you have kids you won’t anymore.

Lesson Three – There’s always a worse bug than the one you’ve got

An hour and a half after arriving at the 90-Minute Clinic I’m finally in with the Nurse Practitioner.

NP: You’re almost out of the woods but you’ve got a lingering sinus infection. We’ll get you a five day prescription that’ll get you over the hump. Say, have you had your flu shot?

Me: Nope.

NP: Why not?

Me: Maybe it’s a mistake, but I’ve just never got one.

NP: You’re living dangerously this season my friend, especially coming in here. My advice – get yourself a double shot of hand sanitizer and evacuate the premises immediately.

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