© 2010 Aaron Atkinson

Thirsty Traveler

Laura and I shared coffee the other night with friends who are traveling home to Michigan for the holidays.

Me: How long is the drive?

Dustin: Between 10 and 12 hours. (Quietly) Depending on how many times she needs to go.

She heard.

Sarah: It’s not my fault that I’ll have to go an hour into our trip.

Me: You’re that passenger? The weakest link.

Dustin: Bathroom breaks should come with gas refills. Once every three or four hours.

Sarah: When I have to go, I have to go.

Me: I have a solution.

Me: Dozens of road trips back and forth to Ontario have taught me that when it comes to bladder control on the highway, it’s all about balance.

Me: For instance. If you take a drink of water, eat a salty potato chip. If you drink a can of pop, eat some salted peanuts. If you can achieve the optimal balance between water and salt, you’ll never have to pee.

Sarah: Yeah, but thanks to the water weight, I’ll gain ten pounds in ten hours!

Me: If you’re gaining a pound of liquid an hour, forget what I said about balance. I have a better solution… Depends.

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