© 2012 Aaron Atkinson

When in Portland…

The other day we were talking about the cities that work travel has taken us. Portland came up…

Chris: Portland? I’ve been to Portland.

Me: How was it?

Chris: Well, fuzzy. I do remember taking some clients out to dinner and drinking a bit too much. After dinner I gave them the first cab and told them I’d catch the next one. After waiting for a few minutes, I decided to walk from the bar back to my hotel instead.

Me: I see.

Chris: But I was pretty intoxicated, it was like one in the morning, and I got really lost. I came to a cross street and was about to continue into what looked like a pretty sketchy neighborhood when a cop pulled up. He waves me over and says…

Chris as Cop: How you doin’ son?

Chris as Self: Good officer.

Chris to Me: Now keep in mind I’m quite drunk and suddenly very nervous.

Chris as Cop: Where you from?

Chris as Self: Kansas City.

Chris as Cop: You lost?

Chris as Self: Yes sir.

Chris as Cop: Well, I’m no taxi, so I’m not going to take you back to your hotel. I don’t even care which hotel you’re staying at. But I can tell you that you do not want to keep walking that way. (He points ominously.)

Chris to Me: So I thanked him, turned around, walked back to the bar and waited for the next taxi.

Me: Sounds… like an adventure.

Chris: Nah. You want an adventure? Have I ever told you about Birmingham?


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