© 2013 Aaron Atkinson

Door to Door Offending

There came a knock at the door last Saturday. I opened it and was greeted with a salesman from TruGreen lawn care services.

Me: Hi. What can I do for you?

Mr. Grass: Well I was just walking around your neighborhood and I noticed you’ve got a few bare patches in your yard….

Me: Yeah, there’s a couple of small ones. But everyone has those. It was a wicked summer last year and it killed a bit of grass. That said, I’m looking forward to restoring it.

Mr. Grass: We’d be happy to help you out with it.

Me: No thanks.

As I closed the door it struck me that TruGreen has a pretty poor sales pitch. I find it just a bit offensive. Which got me to thinking about what other professions might sound like if they followed the same “you’ve got a few bare patches in your yard” model.

Personal trainer: I noticed you’re carrying a few extra pounds around your midsection – buy some sit ups from me.

Car salesman: I noticed that you’re driving a rusty clunker – let me help you pick up a new car payment.

Photographer: You’re getting uglier by the day – better get some pictures taken before it gets any worse.

My point is that if Mr. Grass came to my door and said – “compared to your neighbors who appear to have given up, your yard looks great. It’s clear that you care about fending off the weeds borne of their inconsideration. If you’d ever like a bit of help defending your eastern and western fronts, we’re here to help,” I might not have closed the door on him quite to quickly.



Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>