© 2013 Aaron Atkinson

Five Second Rule

There were five lonely frosted cupcakes left over from an event at work. I took the cupcakes inside of their plastic trays and tried to pass them off to a chatting group of four coworkers.

Me: Who wants a cupcake?

Guys 1-3: No thanks.

Guy 4: How do I know that it’s still okay to eat one?

Me: The event just ended. They’re fine. Look, I’ll prove it to you.

I eat one.

Guy 4: That’s good enough for me.

He takes and eats one.

Me: Nobody else? Okay, they’re going in the trash.

I throw them away.

Guy 4: (With his mouthful of cupcake) You guys missed out. That was a really good cupcake. I mean really good.

Guy 1: Well they’re still in their plastic containers, maybe I’ll pull one out and have it. You know, the five second rule.

Guy 4: Dude, I’m pretty sure that once something is in a trashcan, the five second rule no longer applies.

Guy 2: Or at least it’s more like a two second rule.

Me: I’m with you. But it’s not two as in two seconds, it’s too as in you’re too late.


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