Picture This Life

Tim: Aaron, I really have to go.

Me: Then go.

Tim: I can’t. I’ll get in get yelled at for leaving.

Me: (rolling over to face the wall) Then don’t go.

We were in trouble. A pair rowdy boys sent to our bunked bed room to think about what we’d done. But all Tim could think about was how much he had to pee.

To his credit he was following Mom’s clear instructions…

Mom: You are not allowed to leave this room until I tell you that you can come out.

I know it sounds cruel and unconstitutional to punish children, but in her defense it was the ’80s and it was Canada.

I hear Tim moving around on the far side of the room. Something sounds funny. I roll over to face him.

Little Timmy, briefs around his ankles, is peeing down the air conditioning vent.

Shocked at what I’m seeing I call for Mom. He’s really in for it now, I think to myself.

As she takes in the scene, she does give Tim a yell. But something else happened, something strange. She tried to hide it, but I’m sure I saw ‘Mom the Enforcer’ let slip the slightest, smallest giggle.

Tim, the whiz-kid, had gotten away with another one.